He Knoweth All Things

Another visit with Dr. R has came and went...we are 2 weeks closer to meeting Baby W! This visit was pretty uneventful, except for the fact that we got some A+ pictures of our little guy. I seriously freaked out when he showed us these 3-D pictures of his face.

I can't believe how much he has changed since the last time we saw him in 3-D, about 8 weeks ago. His face looks so much chubbier, and I love that I can really see the definition of all of his features. We got to see his arms and legs in 3-D, too, so that was fun. He had his arms bent up under his face like he was getting ready to fight...hopefully he will be a fighter when he is born...that is exactly what we will need from him. You can see his hands at the bottom of the first picture. They are all a little blurry because we had a bad angle, and we were looking through a thick layer of fluid. He is sitting breach right now with his legs bent and feet up under his bum, so we didn't get to see his lower legs. He was moving all over during the ultrasound, though, so that was fun. It is weird to see him moving and not feel it! I have been feeling little bumps from Baby W a lot more often, but every once in a while he will go like 1 1/2 days without me feeling anything. I can't wait for Cody to feel him...hopefully Baby W starts kicking harder so he can!

This picture is so funny, it totally looks like he is blowing a bubble!

Hmm...now for an update. There isn't too much to say today, which is actually a good thing! I felt a little relief when we left the appointment...When I told my sister that she said that is because the last 5 appointments have had tons of new, not-so-good news to report; no wonder this one was a relief!

Dr. R. couldn't see much of a change in the shape of Baby W's ribs since our checkup 2 weeks ago. This is good news, but at the same time, 2 weeks isn't much time for a change to be measured. We got to look at Baby W's heart quite a bit. In an average baby, the heart consists of 50% of the chest cavity. Baby W's heart consists of about 90% of his chest. This is not because his heart is so big, but because of the 'bowing in' of the ribs. The lungs are on each side of the heart, and that leaves only about 10% of his chest for the lungs to develop in. It was pretty crazy to see how little the space was for them. The heart just seems so big! (He must be a lover!) It was neat to watch his heart beat so quickly as we were looking at him, about 168 BPM, whew! Dr. R. said that Baby W pretty much looks like me right now, 7 months pregnant! You can see in the ultrasounds, his belly is really large compared to his chest cavity. (His belly is growing at the correct rate, as well as his head, but everything else is small.) I thought that was a good comparison, though.

Dr. R. can't see any cloverleaf or frontal bossing of his forehead, which is an additional sign sometimes shown in TD babies. This could still develop, as he is changing and growing every day.

(I am sure some of this gets so boring, but it is good for me to document everything for my memory!) We talked more about a delivery date, which is now around May 23, which is at 36 weeks. They DO NOT WANT me to go into labor on my own. We want to have my labor as planned as possible, because we want every specialty doctor there who needs to be there to ensure that Baby W gets the correct care as soon as possible after delivery. It does make me sad to think that when I have our baby, others will most likely spend his first few minutes/hours with him other than us. I so want to hold him and help him, but I know that the doctors that will be present will be able to help him much better that Cody or I. They may take an amnio test to make sure that Baby W's lungs are as developed as they need to be to be born at 36 weeks. If they are not quite developed enough, I will get steroids and then 48 hours later we will deliver, just to give his lungs a little extra time. It still sounds like a c-section will be best for Baby W, but we are not 100%, it all depends on the size of Baby W's head. Honestly, I don't care how he is delivered, I just want to do what is least stressful for him.

We read a fact today that the chances of this happening is 1 in 50,000. FIFTY THOUSAND! Seriously, this is so unlikely. I was talking to a friend this week who said she was in a class the other day and the teacher asked her, "If you could ask God one thing, what would it be?" She lost her 30 year old brother to cancer a year and a half ago, and she said that she would probably ask God "Why did you take my brother at such a young age?". I told her, obviously, that I would ask "Why us, out of all of the families here, why Baby W?" We continued on to speak of God's amazing knowledge of each of us and our situations. In the Book of Mormon, there is a scripture that states, "But behold, all things have been done in the wisdom of Him who knoweth all things". As I have thought about this scripture and our previous questions, I realized that we don't need to ask Him these questions, but just have faith in the fact that He "Knoweth all things". I have so many questions, so many worries about what is going to happen in these next couple months of our lives. Will Baby W continue to grow and make it to 36 weeks? Will Baby W pass away prior to his birth? How long will Baby W live after his birth? Could we witness a miracle and have this all just be a memory? Can the doctors be wrong? Will his ribs continue to bow in? Is Baby W going to live for minutes? Hours? Years?

The questions will continue to come, and the only way I know to make it through this trial is to turn to God and to those who love us here on this earth. To continue to pray, to have faith, and to remember that He Knoweth All Things. He knows all of our struggles and our heartaches, as well as our joys.

Thank you to all of you who are continually keeping our little family in your prayers, we can feel it daily. I honestly am saddened at times, but only for a few seconds, and then I am completely taken over and comforted. I know that this is because of the prayers of comfort that each of you are asking for us. I am so grateful for the comfort that I receive daily, it makes this struggle SO MUCH easier to go through. We love all of you so much and can feel your love for us as well. Keep those prayers coming, they are helping so much!